Daily Deposits for your spouse: Notice

It fills the cup of your spouse when you notice. It’s simple… “Hey I noticed you put the dishes away. Thanks honey! You’re  amazing.” That quick “verbal notice” took me 4.83 seconds to say, but Jamie will hold on to it for the next several minutes or even longer based on the depth and significance. It takes a split second to notice, a few seconds to verbalize it, and the return on investment is greater connection, greater admiration, and deeper intimacy. Notice character traits. Notice little things they consistently do. Notice their inner and outer beauty. Notice a gift or talent. Exercise this muscle. It pays HUGE dividends in marriage.

IDEAS FOR NOTICING

• Notice a character trait (hard-working, servant, courageous, compassionate, etc.)  Point it out and tell them why you appreciate this quality.

• Notice/Remember something your spouse did in the past that has blessed your marriage in the present. “I just wanted to tell you that when you decided to plan that vacation last year it was really awesome. Thank you!”

• Notice when your spouse gets a haircut and tell them a specific feature you like about it.

• Notice when your spouse looks incredible and tell them. “You look hot. It’s really turning me on.” (Might be awkward, but they will love it, especially the guys!)

• Notice your spouse’s outfit and tell them they look great (handsome or beautiful along with something specific).

• Notice something your spouse did around the house and tell them you appreciate it and are thankful for the specific things they did.

• Notice something mundane your spouse does day in and day out that might go unnoticed (laundry, dishes, bathrooms, cooking, giving kids rides, managing the budget, etc.) Tell them you appreciate how they serve you and your family by doing those things.

• Notice a feature you are attracted to physically in your spouse, point it out and tell them you love that about them (“I love your eyes because…”). Remind yourself and them of your attraction and make it specific!

• Notice something your spouse is really good at and say, “Man, you are so good at…” It could be a big life-skill or talent, or something small. Tom Hanks in “Sleepless in Seattle” reflected on the little things he loved about his late wife, “She could peel an apple in one spiral with a knife.” Notice and affirm your spouse for the little and big things they do well.