Daily Deposits for your spouse: Quality Time
“Chris! I want your undivided attention!” Wait, you mean we can’t watch a game, check email on our phones, and have a significant intimacy-building conversation all at once? Quality AND time. You need both for it to fill the cup of a quality time person. Believe me, I know cause I’m married to one! It can’t be quality if you give no time. And the time is watered-down if it’s not quality. I have found that the key ingredient is that I am fully present with Jamie. Whether it’s for a 10 second prayer or hug, or if it’s for a dinner out with a walk afterwards my being fully attentive and present with her can make a 10 second interaction feel like an hour, or an evening together feel like a weekend. Give your time, and make it quality!
IDEAS FOR Quality time
Give them the gift of “a moment.” Wake up early with coffee and go somewhere to watch the sunrise. Or get drinks and go somewhere to watch the sunset together.
UNPLUG!!! Tell your spouse that for one hour at the end of each day that week you want to put the phones in the drawer, sit on the couch, and be together. Read a book out-loud, talk, or just lay around. It will be hard at first, but at the end of the week, you will thank us for this one!
Walk…. Hike… Unplug. It’s simple, but a simple walk or hike with no phones leads to great conversation and it will refresh you on multiple levels.
Fire! Sit in front of your fireplace with the lights off, light some candles, or sit at your fire pit outside and talk. Fire creates an intimate time and moments.
Call your spouse during your day and ask them, “How are you doing?” Ask “How can I pray for you right now?” Then take time to pray.
Schedule a simple date night. Tell your spouse on Sunday to clear a specific evening, and then take them on a date.
Tell your spouse you are “gifting” them 3 hours on a weekend to do whatever they want. It can be with you, a friend, or a gift of time alone. Have a specific time frame picked-out and even write some options for them if they have a hard time deciding. Give it to them in a card and bless them with the “Gift of time for something that brings you life.”
Surprise your spouse at work. Show up with lunch for two! (Make sure to clear with a co-worker or office manager to make sure they don’t have a lunch meeting that day!)
Take your spouse to a fun coffee shop, buy their favorite coffee or tea, and spend an hour taking a walk and ask them questions about their week.
On a Friday night say, “I want to give you the gift of a morning / afternoon / evening. Pick one today or tomorrow to do something that fills your cup. It could be alone, with me, or with a friend. If it’s not with me, I will take care of stuff at home while you are gone!”
